Trusting God in the small things is really hard. Trusting God in the big things is ever harder. As I sit here, I think about the things I know I need to trust God for. I think about all the times when God has been faithful to me. I think about all the times that God has been there for me, and how consistent he has been. I think about his great love and his guiding hand that has always been there for me. I think about how he has protected me, honored me, and given me the desires of my heart. I think about how awesome and great he is, and about how much I truly do want to love him. And, then I think about all the times I have failed God. I think about all the times have messed up, completely ignored him, and have been so utterly selfish. I think about how undeserving I am. I think about how foolish, silly, arrogant, unwise, and how stubborn I can be at times. I question how he can even put up with me. But despite all my failures and short comings, God is still faithful to me. God still loves me. God still provides for me. God still takes care of me. He still comes to my rescue, he still is there after I have pushed him away, and he still calms all my fears even when I created those fears. I am so thankful that God does not measure his love for me by how good or how bad I am. If his love were based on my merit, I would never obtain it. I can never earn the love of God. God’s love is simply and utterly given to me by his everlasting grace and mercy. If I think too far into my future I am overwhelmed. Sometimes I even get overwhelmed by the thought of tomorrow. I do not know what tomorrow will bring. All I can do is trust in the knowledge that everything is going to work out for my good because I love God with everything that I am, and I am called according to his purpose. I may not understand where that calling is leading me, and I may not see every footstep ahead, but I trust that I can walk with God even when my brain says it is impossible. I trust that in the midst of what seems like a really chaotic time, I can and will rest in the peace that God has given me. I believe the Lord wants us to have peace in our lives. I believe that he wants us to rest in his strength, and bask in his joyous presence. I believe that God wants to take every situation we see as impossible, and use it for his glory. And someday, we will look back on the impossible and see the “God possibility of it all!” Someday when our dreams and hopes come true, we will smile as if we knew they always would. And when those days come that are filled with a taste of sadness, and possibly answers that we don’t want to hear (because those days will come) we will still be able to stand. We will still know that God is in the middle of all that we do. We will still be able to trust Him through the good and the bad. I will trust. I choose to trust in God, even though my eyes cannot see what lies ahead. I choose to trust in God, even when the footsteps I take are blinded by darkness. I choose to trust in God, even though I know that I am a human and most of the time prone to failure. I simply, but honestly chose to trust in God. I will wait for Him to lead, walk with Him when He leads me, and trust Him always (this is decision, not simply a feeling or passing emotion, but a decision). Isaiah 40:31 “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”
Rev. Crystal January 20, 2010 0 comments
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About The Author Rev. Crystal Rev. Crystal Schmalz is a licensed minister in the United Pentecostal Church International, holds a Master of Divinity degree from Urshan Graduate School of Theology, and a Bachelor of Arts in Interdisciplinary Humanities and History from Michigan State University. Crystal has served as a staff chaplain at Barnes Jewish Hospital, has completed five units of Clinical Pastoral Education, and is a member of ACPE. She served as a ministry staff leader for ACMNP in Yellowstone National Park and enjoys the beauty of God’s creation. She served on staff at Life Christian Church pastored by David Stephens doing outreach, guest coordination, youth leadership, Sunday school, and music ministry. She currently attends New Life Center pastored by Garry Tracy, and is involved in teaching Sunday school, preaching at nursing homes, teaching Bible Studies, and helping people connect to God and community. Crystal loves to spend time with her husband Luke, and her hobbies include writing, “thrifting,” eating ice cream, and playing Settlers of Catan and Scrabble with friends and family.