Know Who You Are By Rev. Rosalynn Austin
In a room full, she sat surrounded by many. “Are you an Evangelist?” she asked me. I screamed within myself!! This amazing anointed woman of God was looking me in the eyes and asking me this question. What should I say? If I say No the pressure is off, but I can’t say that. It’s not true. What she is really asking is if I have the guts to be who God has called me to be. Or will I cower to the peers I have made idols in my life? Oh God you know my heart! Yet for the third time in eight days God was asking me the same question.
I battled for years on what to say on the occasions I was ever asked. How do I put into words what my flesh and spirit have been crying in the darkness of the shadows of my life? I feared what I would be thought of if I shared my heart. God forgive me for denying who I am. For denying who You are. I prayed for this. I prayed to be held in Your hand, to love as You love, to see with Your eyes. I sacrificed Your answer on the altar of those I had made my idols. Thank You for Your mercy. Thank You for allowing me to not rot in the desert of the dry place I created. I was afraid.
I know I was not and am not alone. The hand of God has been on me in my calling since I was a child. Had anyone asked me if I would ever be a preacher or pastor, my answer might have been yes! I was never asked. I never had to give an answer. As time went on I eventually lost the courage to say I was anything associated with being a vessel worthy of being held in the hand of God, until I found myself back in His house.
I simplified it for years to make it more digestible for anyone who cared to ask. It was simple: I was called to preach or speak God’s word. Easy to swallow, but for some it was not so easy. Next… Oh I want to get my license. Hmmm… “Why? You don’t need a license to speak.” True. My battle raged within. I felt like Peter; only I didn’t know… I didn’t know that by watering down who I was, who I am called to be, simply so that it would be more palatable to others was no different than Peter denying Christ. Ugh! I didn’t really know who I was. Who in their right mind would tell God, “I know you said I was A, but really I’m B. I think you got it wrong,”? Really who would do that? I did.
I’m a preacher. It’s harder to say than one might think. Try it! I’m an Evangelist! It’s like in my mind I imagine thousands asking, “and who do you think you are,” with such disdain in their tone it causes me to soften my answer before they can read the truths floating in my mind. Maybe I’m the only one who struggled with this concept of owning who God has called me to be. That day, that brief moment, I owned up to who God had called me to be. I answered boldly, yet softly. “Yes ma’am I am.” She then held my hand and arm and continued to share with me amazing words of wisdom that blessed me to the core of who I was afraid to be. A preacher!
There is power in what we speak. In that moment I spoke life into my calling. Allowing God, who was patiently waiting for me to step into my priestly garments, to say, “Go!”
Everything I am is because of God. I am who God says I am. I am a Preacher! When those words went forth, my life changed.
Rosalynn Austin is a licensed minister with the United Pentecostal Church International (UPCI). She is a veteran of the United States Navy and holds a BS in Health Care Management. For over 13 years she has been a leader and trainer in the field of Homeland Security & Emergency Management. She and her husband, Cedric, also a licensed minister with the UPCI and the Hyphen Director of TLC, are the blessed parents of two children. They attend, serve in and minister out of The Life Church of Kansas City, MO under the pastoral leadership of Rev. Stan & Marlene Gleason. More about Rosalynn Austin can be found at www.everyday-hope.com
Copyright 2015 Rosalynn Austin and Crystal Schmalz Ministries