On October 9, 2013 I was given the opportunity to preach at an Urshan Vesper service. I’ll be honest, I was so nervous it was unreal. As the day drew closer I became more and more afraid. It wasn’t that I thought I would mess up or say something wrong, I was worried that I wouldn’t say everything that God wanted me to say. Never the less, I prepared my sermon and prayed for continued wisdom from God. The closer I got to the pulpit the more afraid I became, but after I read my scriptures God placed a peace over me and I began to preach.
I talked about being broken and the fact that it is ok to be broken and in fact it is only through our brokenness that God can completely use us in His kingdom. It is no secret that we each have things in our lives that we would like to forget, whether it was bad decisions we made or things that were done to us. We take these events and hide them in our hearts. We create walls around our hearts so that we are not hurt anymore. These are the walls that God wants to break down, with our permission, one brick at a time.
As I spoke you could hear a pin drop in the chapel. I knew when God gave me this sermon that it would not be one that made people run the aisles or swing from the chandeliers. This was a sermon that needed to be heard but that no one really wanted to hear. My peers and my professor gave me the occasional “Amen” as I kept speaking on real life problems.
Throughout my sermon I put in parts of my own testimony such as the fact that I’m nervous about taking another “leap of faith” with God because it seems like every time I step out on a limb I lose someone in my family. These events cause me to question God and even get mad at Him sometimes. It wasn’t easy to tell this and other stories in a public setting, but I felt like God wanted me to say them and in the end it was helpful to those at the service. I ended with the song “Breakthrough” sung by Madonna Massey from Louisiana. I played it over the sound system, giving everyone, including the musicians and singers a chance to pray.
Afterwards I still felt nervous about everything; after all, it was only my third time preaching and the first time in almost three years. Over the next couples of weeks I had various people come up to me and tell me that they needed to hear what I preached and that my testimony was encouraging to them. I am glad that God used me to touch people’s lives. I hope to be used again by God in any way that He wants to use me.