GOD’S LOVE CAN BE SEEN IN EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE
By Rev. Laura Butler
We are back in St. Louis for another round of chemo and to meet the doctor in regards to some physical issues Chris, my husband, has been having. The last few times the Lord has blessed me with divine appointments. I love how God works! It’s never how our little minds think it will work out! It’s far greater than anything we can imagine.
Bro. Lee, a pastor in Cape Girardeau, spoke to Chris a couple of years ago and told him that this sickness isn’t because of him or anything that he has done, but God said it is for someone else. I never fully understood that. So I have been waiting to see who comes into our lives. Asking myself all kinds of questions, “Who is it that we are supposed to share our testimonies?” After two years with no answer, and being in the ring, fighting what’s turned into a six year fight, I now understand. Well, as of right now I’m starting to. I realized it’s not one individual that God is going to send to us, then we were going to be used through Him to help this individual, then Chris is going to be healed and we get to have a normal life again and get on with all those dreams that have been taking away from us and/or placed on hold. Wow, was I ever wrong! After going through what we have been through these past several years with cancer, losing loved ones, moving 5 times in 3 years, and spiritual attacks that I thought had me, those dreams and desires no longer mean what they did before. But those God given gifts that I had been born with and desires I had deep down has been stirred up in me during all these chaotic times. When my Bishop called me into his office and said with Sis. Sharon McGruder, “Laura you know who you are.” He was right, I lost my way once and allowed the storms and chaos to throw and toss me around that I forgot who I was in God! I don’t despise those rough times because they opened my spiritual eyes and taught me and are teaching me who I really am. God has a way of doing things which are not always the way we think they should be done. In some cases its better and in others I’m still left scratching my head because I cannot grasp ahold of what just happened and will probably never understand it on this side of Heaven.
Proverbs 3:5-6 states, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” I have stopped trying to understand God’s ways. I’ve started trusting and seeking more of God. I’m acknowledging God in every situation. The definition of acknowledge is to accept or admit the existence or truth. So when tough times come and the doctors say you are at the end of the rope, don’t give up but acknowledge God! Trust! I often pray, “Lord, I know what the doctors are saying and I can’t understand or see the purpose in all this chaos but I know you are my God and Savior and your ways are greater than mine! Help my frail spirit right now Lord, give me strength and order my steps Lord! I trust you Jesus! Lead Me and I will Follow…
You are where you are in life right now because God has allowed you to be. It’s not to hurt you or make you miserable, but it’s to fulfill the purpose in your life. We must make ourselves available and be sensitive to God’s spirit for when the divine appointment is to take place. Trust me, you will know when you have arrived at your appointment time. Once I realized that this life was not about me and I began to take my relationship with Jesus to a new level, a more intimate level, and I speak to Him every day all throughout the day and look to His Word for guidance then that’s when I started seeing all the scheduled divine appointments He had planned for me. So we must KNOW Jesus, be in love with Him and in contact with Him and dive into His Word in order for Him to prepare us for our appointments.
Every time so far I just enter a room and sometimes before I get seated my eyes will land on someone and I feel an urgency to reach out to them, as if I have a blanket of love and compassion that I want to cover them in! Then I immediately start praying and following whatever God starts telling me to do. Sometimes it’s not easy and is out of my comfort zone but I push myself through the fear and hesitation because the feeling of missing out on blessing or helping another is awful! You just cut God off from pouring Himself through you!
Imagine a sink. The water is God, you are the faucet. When God tries to flow through you and then you turned yourself off out of fear you stopped Him from flowing through you and into another that needed a touch or word from God. Someone that needed loneliness filled, needed that depression, sickness, and bitterness washed out of them…but you allowed fear or intimidation to turn you off and it cut God off from flowing through you. Not only does it stop that person from being blessed but it stopped you too. Because when God shows up the atmosphere changes. When God touches someone they are not the same, they change too. When water comes in contact with a surface or a person they are different! God flows through you, you are changed! When God flows onto that other person they are changed!!! Don’t let this moment, this opportunity, this divine appointment pass you by! Grab ahold of it and say, “ok God I feel you. I know you are here and I hear you speaking to my spirit, what would you like me to say or do? Use me to minister. I plead the blood over my words and actions that it all comes from you Lord and it ministers directly to their needs. And watch God just come flowing from you! You will step back and say WOW that was a God thing, which was my divine appointment!
My previous divine appointment was with this gentleman that I noticed a few weeks prior sitting in the waiting room slumped over and head hanging down starring at the floor. I immediately felt those emotions rush over me and I wanted to run over and just hug him! But did nothing but whisper a prayer for him. (At this time I wasn’t aware of my divine appointments). Then I returned for another visit and there he was sitting. I felt those feelings again. I couldn’t stop starring at him. So I spoke to my husband and said, “I want to hug him.”***I’m laughing right now*** the look on my husband’s face was priceless! You see I’m known in our church as not being one who likes to be hugged on. So the fact this is a strange man that I was wanting to hug kind of disturbed my husband a little. So I quickly explained everything that was going on in my head and the conversation I have been having with God while sitting there. Then came a sigh of relief on his face as if he was thinking, “my wife isn’t going crazy!” Ha-ha. Then I asked Chris if he had any cash on him and he told how much so of course I asked for it all but I got that look again. SO I settled for $20. He asked me what I was going to do with it. And I said, “Oh use it as a book mark.” I continued to look at my book as if I were reading but in reality I was talking to God when Chris said, “you’re going to give it to that man aren’t you?” I said, “I’m not sure yet whatever God tells me to do with it and I smiled.” Chris is called backed for labs and I remain in waiting room for this part of the visit. I hurriedly tried to find a piece of paper, I looked everywhere! I always have a notebook because I’m constantly writing something down. But no not a single piece so I ripped a page out of my new book. And I started writing. I wrote something of this sort, “Dear Sir, you do not know me but I noticed you a few weeks ago (I know I sounded like a stalker) and I disobeyed God when He told me to go pray for you. I’m sorry but I’m shy when it comes to approaching or meeting strangers. I want you to know that I have been praying for you. And God told me to let you know that you are not alone. This isn’t much but I would like to buy your lunch. Signed it: God loves you” I ran it up to another sister that works the desk at the lab and asked if she could give it to him because he went back for labs before I could get it altogether. She smiled and said sure. I made my way back to my seat and started praying, ”Ok God I did it, and I started pleading the blood over the situation and praying that every word ministered to him and that he knew it was from you Lord.” Then here comes Chris out of the lab doors and boy was I smiling! I said, “I DID IT!” I felt so much joy! We moved onto the next appointment right across the hall and SURPRISE! There he sat! I was like, wow he got right by me without me noticing. We sat down and the stupid devil decided to join in on this fun but of course as a party pooper and started in on me. Saying, “You know he probably doesn’t believe in God and he’s just laughing at that silly note and shoved that money in his pocket thinking he made a few extra bucks today. If he finds out it was you he’s going to get mad and make a big scene in this office.” Finally, I had enough! I said, satan I rebuke you in Jesus Name! I pleaded the blood over this whole situation! God is in control here and I know you don’t have the power to cross over the Blood of Jesus! And no more than finishing that conversation up with satan that sister from the lab comes through the door and says, “Mr. Robinson! (Now I know his name! J ) I was on the phone when you came out of labs and I couldn’t catch you but a young lady asked me to give this to you.” This lady was a pro ya’ll. She didn’t even look at me or point me out. She just walks out. I couldn’t watch him read the note. I looked up at the tv and pretended to be all into this episode of the Andy Griffin show. And Chris whispers to me, “babe he’s reading it.” I said, “Ok I can’t watch him” in a stern whisper. Then out loud to break up the uncomfortable feeling I said, “Babe look Dawson would like this show.” Chris not really buying that comment whispers again, “Laura look over there now.” He said my first name so that means business. I looked over and Mr. Robinson is laid back in his chair. Yall this guy looks like a NBA star. He’s extremely tall and very slim. So his legs are bent and sticks way out in the isle and he props his elbows on the arms of the chair then clasp his hands together like when a child prays at the altar. Then his head is bent down propped against his hands and he’s PRAYING! You can tell God was changing and touching him! Praise the Lord! God is so awesome yall!
This cancer is evil, ugly, it hurts families, destroys our plans in life, and causes life to come to a screeching halt while others are living life to the fullness and pursuing their goals and dreams. At least this is how is has affected us and has caused us to feel. BUT GOD can show you that through that ugliness there is beauty to be seen and love that can still be felt. We just have to focus our eyes on Jesus and not on the storm! I refocused my sight on Jesus and the place I once saw as a place of doom and gloom and hated going, now is a place I actually look forward to getting there with anticipation of who will be my next appointment! I’m finding and feeling the love in this hard situation with the help and love of God.
In closing I want to share with you what God told me in my darkest days, “Laura, if you curse your journey you will never reach your destiny.” So I encourage you today to seek God’s love in every circumstance and then allow Him to flow through you as He intended to, to fulfill His purpose in you.
May God Bless,
Copyright 2016 Laura Butler and Crystal Schmalz Ministries, Women of Vision Leadership