By Natashia Thurik
One of the greatest feelings in the world is knowing that God has placed a calling on your life. Just to think that this omnipresent, omnipotent, great big God would call someone so little and insignificant like me to do a work for him… it’s unfathomable! Growing up, I didn’t think my life would amount to much, however when I got in church at the age of twelve I distinctly remember this overwhelming feeling that this God that was changing my life, was also changing my future. I can safely say 10 years later that the feeling I felt has more than since been validated, and I have been called by God.
The calling God has placed on my life was re-confirmed while I was at Gateway. It was a weekend just for women, where David Norris’s book “Cara’s Call” was brought to life by a play. A woman, who was called to preach, was facing extreme opposition when trying to answer the call on her life. At the alter call that day, I felt so overwhelmed, so burdened with the very same calling. I remember weeping that day, uncontrollably. Weeping because I knew this was the Lord talking to me, weeping because I felt unworthy of such a calling and weeping because with the mistakes I’ve made… I didn’t see it possible that God could still use me.
It’s been about three years since that weekend, and I still find myself struggling with this call. I’ve since gotten married and moved back home to MN where my husband is the youth pastor at the church I grew up in. I am currently in Purpose Institute in hopes that in two years I will come out of it with my Local License and I desire so deeply to move deeper into this calling. However, even though I know I have been called it doesn’t mean it’s an easy road to travel. I face daily struggles and battles as I move forward. Some battles are with the devil and how he tries to tell me that I have made too many mistakes, and God can’t use someone like me anymore. Some battles are because I feel stretched so much already, time doesn’t allow me to really focus on this calling, therefore, it’s on the back burner. Then, some of the biggest battles I face are the ones that rage on like a war inside of me. I am beginning to realize my biggest stumbling block isn’t the devil, but my biggest stumbling block is essentially… me.
However, despite the struggles I remember back to a saying we have all heard numerous times; “God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called.” So even though I’ve got struggles and doubts, God is preparing me for this calling. Every trial, every mountain top and every in between God is molding me and shaping me into the person He knows I can be. I can’t help but think of the story of Esther, and how God’s calling caused her to step outside of her comfort zone, out of her own plans in order to fulfill the calling He had placed on her life. Despite the overwhelming insecurities she felt and the fear that consumed her, she was obedient to the Lord and her people were saved.
If it were true then, it must be true now. God will call us to do things we don’t think we are capable of doing, He will take us to places we never could have gone on our own, and use us in situations that will drastically affect the world around us. The key to this is not that you must have it all together, but that in the midst of changes and growth you remain obedient to the Lords voice and calling. We must constantly remember that God knows exactly what He is doing, and He’s called you because He knows what you are capable of. By remaining obedient you are letting God know, that even though we have doubts and short comings, our faith and trust is in a perfect God who has our best interest in mind.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11; NIV)
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